Letter #51 - Patience is Power

To everyone, at any stage in life,

I’ve been thinking about my life a lot recently, about how I’ve gotten to where I am and the various detours that the universe threw my way. I think I’m at my most self-aware but confident in that self, than I’ve been since I was a teenager I think. A big part of that has been patience and practicing it daily. 

Patience is this virtue, up on a pedestal, and I think that that can make it so inaccessible when people need it most. When someone says they aren’t a patient person, generally I’ve found that that means they haven’t learnt how to be. Patience is on par with self-control. And in civilised society, the majority of people have self-control. For example, we don’t go running into stores and stealing everything we want; instead we have the patience and control to get to a point where we can fund our purchases. We don’t walk out of meetings that aren’t going our way or lash out when we dislike something. So we have indeed got control and one step up from self-control is patience. Or at least that’s how I see it.

It makes the act and even the art of patience slightly more understandable. It isn’t a virtue that only the best of people can obtain. It is like any other ability. We practice until we’ve gotten better at it. It’s like a muscle that needs to be worked.

For me, this was a daily practice. I love my lists and so I would list the things that would make my life amazing if I had them/could achieve them. Then I would state what I had done that day to work towards that aim. If I hadn’t done anything, then I knew where I was going wrong and it was usually then that my patience would wain. But seeing it on paper would help.

 

If I hadn’t worked on that goal, how could I expect it to magically manifest?? Whenever I was working towards something, I felt patient because I knew I was putting something in and as a result, eventually I would get something out of it too. Soon the practice of patience became almost second nature and I could judge how I was feeling based on how patient and grateful I was on any given day. 

Seeing the way my life is in this present moment, has made me really appreciate patience. There are things I’ve been working on or hoping for, for close to a decade and only now can I see the results coming to life. Even now, they aren’t the finished results and I’ve got a long way to go with the things I’m trying to perfect or achieve. But I keep marvelling at time and how it passes when you have the patience to just let it happen.

If it wasn’t for those patient moments that I cultivated and learnt to master, I would have given up on some things a long long time ago. But doing so, wouldn’t have taken me to a better place, or rather not a place that I would have wanted to be in.

So I’m incredibly grateful to everyone who told me to be patient (basically my mum...constantly). Life ebbs and flows and if you’re in a moment where it’s not really flowing your way, keep going and be patient that your hard work will pay off.

It really helps when we think of how long our lives could be. Thinking of that always grounded me. There’s so many more years ahead, hopefully, so if you’re not there yet, doesn’t mean you never will be.

But none of that means that I don’t have my moments! I have many many moments where I just cannot be in a positive and patient place. I want to whine and have a bit of a rant. But all of that is fine! You don’t need to be saintly to practice patience. All it does is give you a bit more power in your life. All it means is that you don’t spend every moment looking to a non-existent future, while forgetting the present in which you need to work to make it a reality.

I just work on not letting the bad moments consume my day or my life, like I used to. I need to give an honorary mention to Gary Vaynerchuk, who preaches so much positivity that you can’t help but take it on board! And another mention to the friend who introduced me to my first Gary Vee video that started this whole thing. You started an upward spiral that just makes me more self-aware.

Anyway, clearly I missed blogging because this post got away from me entirely! Enjoy this nearly 1000 word post and I hope you can find a way to cultivate a bit of patience into your life. Those bad little things, once they stop seeming like the end of the world, everything opens up, the good things become great and the bad things don’t seem as world-crushing.

Do you have any practices that work for you? Things that make the day better when it’s awful, or ways to just change your perspective?

Until next time, be inspired...

Z 

Letter #49 - Don’t Let Expectations Hold You Prisoner

To anyone who needs a reminder,

So this post was meant to be up yesterday, since I’m doing this whole ‘every day in May’ thing, but while that was what was expected of me, by myself, it doesn’t mean it actually happened.

Instead, I worried about what to write about and faced a bit of a drought. The last 8 days have gone pretty well, even though I could feel myself petering out of the flow, every day. I started the month so prepared, with 4 posts ready and waiting before the first of the month even arrived. And they were all pretty long, substantial posts of close to 1000 words. It still wasn’t meeting my expeditions however, as I had also hoped to have photos to go with each post. I had to give up that idea pretty quickly but it wasn’t the end of the world and I just powered through with creating a backlog of posts for the month, and for the days that would get too hectic. This is much easier said than done.

The next expectation I had give up was that I would have each post up by 11am every day. The first couple of days I even managed 10am! But for me and how I’m living right now, it isn’t always sustainable. Sometimes things come up, people need help or favours that I have agreed to. And then there’s the everyday monotony that has to be contended with. The things that just need to get done, like feeding myself or hanging out with my brother in the evenings. These things can’t be moved around and I wouldn’t want them to be, so I have to instead move around my posts as they are more flexible to me, as a priority. My last few posts were pretty close to the end of the day, because I had literally written them half an hour before hitting publish at 11pm. But I still got it done and that was something that I was content with.

This last expectation is one that I really really wanted to follow through on for the entire month; to post every day was important to me as an experiment to myself that I could do it. And as of last night, that expectation is also one I haven’t met. I couldn’t even force it last night. It’s not that I didn’t have a single second to try. I mean I got into bed at 10pm, I had time there to try to bash something out but I was so so done with the day. I needed the day to be over and that meant sleeping it off. Even as I slept though, my mind wanted to get someone out. I literally dreamt I was writing this post and then woke up around 3am really confused and way too warm. It just wasn’t meant to be.

I came to the realisation this morning that I can’t force content out of thin air. My thoughts and opinions come from my life. They come about as a response to things I’ve seen or overheard, or ideas that have occurred to me over time. I can’t just pick a topic and decide to waffle on (as much as I love waffling, it doesn’t always work!). While I’ve been writing this week, I haven’t been doing a lot else for leisure. I haven’t been reading blogs, or listening to podcasts or even music or doing anything simply for the joy of it. I’ve been doing things out of an expectation that I should be doing them. That’s not fair to me and it’s not sustainable, in the way that I function best.

But at least I’ve allowed myself to notice that having expectations can work for some, but be a source of stress for others. I can’t expect each day to match the last or be better than it. Everything can’t always be great and that’s okay. It’s all survivable and manageable and in the end, it’s not like my world has exploded as a result of it. I have the luxury of that lack of urgency at least. I need to remember to be grateful for that.

That’s all from me, but hopefully you can be expecting another post from me before the day is out. That’s an expectation I’m happy to work towards! 

Until next time, be inspired...

Z

Letter #48 - Having A Non-Routine Routine

To anyone without the organisation gene,

I feel like among the people I know, I’m in the minority when it comes to my take on organisation and routine. I’m of the view that “organised chaos” is a thing and it is a fairly acceptable means of organisation, if it work for you. 

For me, it does. If my desk is a mess, I will still know where to find things in that mess, because I remember putting them there. If someone comes and tidies my room without me knowing, to me that is a mess, because I can’t find what I need when I need it. In the same way, when it comes to routine, some people need to have a strict timeline that they follow, which is the only way they get anything done. Planners are used to their full extent and timing are obeyed down to the minute. That’s absolutely great, if you can manage that.

I cannot. 

For me, a routine is pretty non-existent. I don’t and can’t do things at set times. If I tried, something would get in the way and I would fail; this would bother me more than just not setting a timeline in the first place. I can’t fail when I haven’t got it on my radar in the first place. However, while I don’t restrict myself to times, I do still have daily goals or aims. Things that I hope to do before the day is out. Like writing for this blog.

This month, I’ve been waking up knowing that I’m going to get one post done every day. I just don’t know when that may be. It might be that, as soon as I wake up, I open google docs and bash something out. But alternatively, I may not have anything to say until 9pm, and then the post is later. But it is still completed and to me, that’s the most important part.

Of course, if there are deadlines and responsibility to adhere to, I won’t neglect them. I’ll just give myself enough time and enough days to do the work without forcing a restrictive timeline on myself.

I’m a big believer in breaking up the day to stay focused. Even if I could get 4 short tasks done in one sitting, this might mean that after that point, I get bored and demotivated, and then the rest of the day is lost. But if I use those shorter, easier tasks as breaks between longer, more difficult things, then I get more satisfaction and feel more productive. This is great, because I end my days feeling better about myself.

I suppose all I want to say on this topic is that your idea of a routine doesn’t have to match someone else’s, and for a long time, I would feel bad for not being as excessively organised as some people. Eventually I had to just develop a respect for myself and my personality and understand that when it comes to routine, I need a more open path than others. I’m more laidback as a person, and I think that reflects in my needs in  day to day life. I’m also annoying late, but that’s a story for another day!

So if you’re super organised, I would love to pick your brain as to how you manage it; if you’re not, then you do you and don’t put pressure on yourself to be someone you’re not.

Until next time, be inspired...

Z

Letter #47 - Being a Work-In-Progress

To anyone who feels incomplete,

I was thinking about being complete, the other day. When we think of our futures, don’t most of us think that at some point we’ll be done, settled and our lives will be complete? There’s this idea that you’re doing to reach a point where you don’t need to do or be more. I know when I was young, I thought that 40 was the end of the road, and that I had to complete everything on my bucket list by then or else life would have been pointless. Saying that now, it just seems silly yet at the same time, a part of me has those worries.

I look at myself at 24, and this is not what I pictured for myself but it’s not a bad life and I’m still working towards the things I pictured. But I am very much a work in progress. I’m not finished with my goals, not by a long shot! I can see myself having to be a work in progress for the rest of my life and I’ve only just now thought of how that’s entirely okay. 

To me, being a work in progress means having new ideas and making changes in your life, because if you stay still for too long, that doesn’t necessarily make you complete, more likely just unfinished. And I don’t ever want to be unfinished.

I think that trying new things, travelling, working, exploring yourself and your life, all lead to self improvement and that’s progress in a positive direction. It’s progress that you can always work on and work towards. As long as I’m trying to achieve something, or better myself, I’m going to keep moving forward toward that feeling of “being complete”. Yet, I will never be complete until I decide that I am.

Life isn’t still - if it was, it’d be really boring - and so doing things and having goals is what makes life interesting. It’s what gives life life. With this idea, being a work in progress, being incomplete in your life’s journey is part of the fun. If we stress less about what hasn’t happened and instead see it as things to look forward to, things that are going to happen at some point, then life would be so much more fun. It would be an adventure.

So that’s the conclusion I’ve come to; I’m fine with being a work in progress until I decide that I’m done and that feeling of contentment and decision will be when I’m complete. That’s totally fine with me. It will be my choice and on my terms, without some imagined finish line that has to match anyone else’s.

I hope that you can join me in seeing life this way, with an excitement for the unfinished nature of life and all the adventures that are yet to come.

Until next time, be inspired...

Z

Letter #45 - Meditation Can Be An Escape

To anyone who needs a break from their own thoughts,

Meditation is such a big thing and has been gaining traction for years, since it’s such a valid strategy for combatting certain types of stress and managing the more overwhelming parts of life. Over the past two years, I’ve given meditation a try; first unsuccessfully and then I got to work in my favour. I found sticking to a routine of daily meditation was not for me, but when I tried to use it as and when I felt I needed it, the whole practice worked so much better.

For me, it wasn’t too much of a stretch to try something that cleared my mind, as I always found a similar sense of quiet with yoga and that’s something I’ve been doing for years. I did find that quiet and meditation are not necessarily the same. I had misconceptions of what exactly meditation meant. At the time, my mind wandered to ideas of monks atop mountains, feeling at one with the air around them. It was just the ‘feeling at one’ part that was slightly close to the truth.

The first app I used to learn more and have a guided experience was Headspace, and I feel like that was one of the first apps of its kind, at the time. I remember finding the man who guided the sessions to have a really soothing voice, but I would always end up sleepy before the end. Eventually I gave up on it.

But then I tried again. This time has been more successful because I didn’t feel restricted to an order or having to practice meditation daily. That’s mainly due to the apps I use now.

Oak

This app was the one that started me back up on the journey to meditation again. It is the best, simply for being so simple! It has two main methods of meditation: guided and unguided. For both settings, you can choose silence or some sort of background sound, from rainfall to white noise. This is great, if like me, you need something to suit your mood, and have a change from time to time.

Another feature that is my absolute favourite, is the different breathing exercises they have, complete with images that prompt you as to when to breathe in and out. If you’re one to get a bit overwhelmed at times, these can be an on the go lifesaver.

Smiling Mind

This one is a fairly new app for me, but I really like that it has guided meditation sessions based on factors like age, working life and what you need to get out of it. They have some fantastic, focused sets for young people around 11-12 years old all the way to those at 18-19. I like these sessions for the times when I need something more focused and if there’s something specific that I want to work on.

Reflectly

This final app isn’t a meditation app but I found it to work so well as a journal alongside the meditation. It has helped so much with daily mindfulness as it is simply a journal where you recount what made your day good/bad and why. It allows me to really think and get inside my own head. 

The best part about it is that once you’ve input 7 entries, it begins a log of how you answered; it shows you how many good, bad and meh days you had in that week, or over a month. This can be so helpful for recognising how you’re feeling and making sense of your emotions for yourself. It’s a great little nugget of insider info for you to use on yourself.

With practice, and trial and error, I’ve found that it really just comes down to individual choice. But I will say this, meditation can be difficult in the beginning and it can feel like it’s not working, but just stick at it for a little while longer than you feel you should and hopefully you can see the good it can do.

In a world that can get considerable busy at times, it is almost essential to find time for some stillness, even just 5 minutes of it.

Give it a try this weekend, and see if it’s for you. All the apps are free anyway!

Until next time, be inspired...

Z

Letter #44 - Kindness is Taught

To literally everyone...ever,

Being a decent person seems like a given. We all think of it as something that is innate and simple and understandable to everyone. I always thought so. I wish that was the case. But I have observed so many moments, where people who I have witnessed being kind, good people, have surprised me with such specific cruelty that I've had to do a double take.

It's led me to the conclusion that ultimately kindness has to be taught and in turn, rude and disrespectful behaviour is also taught and learned. I don't think I'm saying anything groundbreaking here but I feel like saying it might make any who read this stop and assess themselves. I'm not thinking of a particular person or situation but just decency as a whole. 

I remember having a discussion with some friends long ago, and we were complaining about house chores for some reason that escapes me and then someone said they would just hire a maid to deal with whatever mess they made. Another friend then replied that they agreed with the idea of hiring help, but "I'd want them to be a part of the family. I wouldn't want them to do anything that I wouldn't dare do myself. You've got to remember that whoever you may hire will be someone's parent, child, or sibling. I'd want to treat them with the same respect I'd want someone to give to my family." That is the kind of decency I'm talking about. After that one conversation, I did not think I could have more respect for that person and yet it grew.

We all hope and try to be good people. I don't ever want to be in such a cynical place that I believe people are innately bad, first and foremost. However, I think that those moments where you're having a bad day or something has gone wrong and you still hold back from taking it out on another person, those are the moments we should aspire to. Those should be our defining qualities.

I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I try to see things from their point of view. Why are they like that? What made them into that person? I can totally understand that sometimes people are a product of their environments and that a harsh atmosphere can breed a harsher individual.

But the part that grates me is that the actions of such an individual can take a toll on those around them. They can hurt people with their words and actions and I feel like hurt sticks around a whole while longer than anger or frustration or any number of things that caused their harshness.

So if I hope for one thing today, it’s that we hold on to the kindest parts that we can be, because it might just be the thing that makes or breaks someone’s day. I think it’s a worthwhile reminder to have.

Until next time, be inspired...

Z  

Letter #43 - Resilience Is The Best Thing Life Can Teach You

To those who will be starting again soon,

At this time of year, I always think about the end of school, or more recently university. Around this time two years ago, I had handed in my dissertation and had my final exams and I thought the hard part was over.

I could not have been more wrong! I thought that having my degree and knowing all that I’d learnt would mean that the change involved in getting a job or just growing up into a functioning adult would be more of a step than a leap. It would be a minor thing, rather than something consuming my waking moments. 

I know that I wasn’t alone in this feeling of too much pressure and feeling like you’re falling at every new step. I’ve been thinking about those difficulties now, two years on, when myself and all of my friend have become more settled in their lives since that point. With further study, or finding the perfect job, their resilience paid off. But I don’t think any of us thought that at the time.

So it got me thinking that there are probably others out there right now, going through this exact thing. And that’s not to say that people don’t have regular changes and problems in life, just that the ones that feel like the end of the world, are sometimes only the beginning of a new one. 

Surviving against pressure is a funny thing. It’s like the coal to diamond transformation; you wouldn’t believe it until it happened. When things get hard, it can be all too understandable to just stop and think that it’s not worth it or that it’s not going anywhere. Of course, it’s understandable. It’s human nature. You want to survive and the things that make that difficult make you think it won’t aid in your survival. But what if you survive without the struggle, and find that there’s nothing on the other side.

I’ve done both things. I’ve done the whole “I give it, it’s not worth it” thing but then I’ve also done the “I am sticking this out because I know it’ll be worth it” thing.
And I infinitely prefer the latter. Because even if nothing comes of it, you tried and the resilience of learning to try is the greatest feeling ever. At least, it is to me! And apparently to tons of the most successful people out there. Google the person that inspires you most, and I guarantee that 9 times out of 10, it took them a long time to get to where they are now. But the fact that they got there means it’s doable. So do it.

There’s a rush to it; a feeling that your chemistry has been altered by the act of sticking it out and seeing something come to life. I don’t think we can teach ourselves to be resilient just by thinking we should. I feel as though it’s about getting to your breaking point, letting yourself break and then putting the pieces back in place, but in a stronger composition. So that next time, you don’t break as easily, you just bend. And then the time after that, and after that, you never break again.

There’s an art to sticking it out, after rejection and after compromise and after failing. To me, part of that comes from having a support system. Having someone who reminds you to push back and to keep trying again. I think we can find that support in different places; family, friends, corners of the internet that just get you, or pets even!

After bouncing back is when the best things happen. That resilience shows you that no project or activity is ever bad enough; it’s about finding the right composition that makes sense for you. If it didn’t work this time, who’s to say it won’t next time.

If you’re reading this now, and are struggling to make something work out the way that you want, see if there’s another way around it. You’ll get there in the end!

Until next time, be inspired...

Z

Letter #40 - 23 Things I've Learnt In 23 Years

Dear readers,

It was my 23rd birthday this week, and I figured I'd borrow an idea that's been floating around the blogosphere for a couple of years. Since I'm always up for a bit of self reflection, I thought I'd reflect on what I've learnt over the years. 

Here's 23 things I've learnt over my 23 years:

1 - Always moisturise, regardless of how lazy you feel. You will feel awful in the morning, when you wake up with irritated dry patchy skin. Don't do it! Skincare is too important to skimp on.

2 - Always keep a book in your handbag (or download a few onto your phone/tablet). You'll look really put together to anyone who might see you and you'll never be bored.

3 - Sometimes cake for breakfast is the only way to go. Don't knock it until you've tried it and don't feel guilty while you do.

4 - Smile at strangers (and retail workers). You never know what such a small gesture could mean to someone. If you have the chance to make someone smile, always take it.

5 - Feeling like your life is slowly falling apart is natural.It's not just you and it takes time to get to a place of stability. Even that hardly lasts long.

6 - When someone shows you their true colours, believe them. Seeing the good is one thing, but trying to find good when it isn't there is another entirely.

7 - Take time for your family, always. If you stop and think about it, your siblings are growing up and your parents are growing older. Don't take time for granted.

8 - Sometimes a day of sleeping in and lazing around is a good idea. When the world gets too loud, take it as a cue to take a break.

9 - Perspective is so important. It can change a world ending disaster into a blessed new chapter. Try it!

10 - Your health is something only you can comment on. Don't let someone else tell you that you're healthy or otherwise, if you don't think that's the case. You know your body.

11 - Education doesn't end once you're out of school. Your desire to learn may well be more prominent when you can choose what and when you want to learn. 

12 - Taking time out for yourself does not make you selfish!

13 - Always always always wear your retainer! If you've had to go through years of braces and treatments, why would you risk it all getting ruined by your sheer laziness? (I speak from experience of being that lazy idiot).

14 - Do not scroll through Instagram when you're having a bad day. It will make you feel worse.

15 - Scroll through Pinterest instead and just see as you feel all warm and fuzzy. If that fails, cute animal videos on YouTube are always a win!

16 - Baking is therapeutic to me. I don't even need to eat the goods; sharing is caring.

17 - Waking up before the sun rises, and watching it come up, is a great start to any day.

18 - Sleep is important and we all need different amounts of it. Don't feel lazy if you sleep a bit longer every night than the next person.

19 - No matter how old you get, a hug from a loved one will fix all manner of sins.

20 - If a hug isn't feasible, a cup of tea will work wonders.

21 - Stop comparing lives, successes or failures. Just be your own biggest fan and just do you!

22 - No matter how out of reach your dreams may be, try and try again. There's nothing worse than unfulfilled potential. "What ifs" are no fun.

23 - Just have fun and don't take yourself too seriously. You've got the rest of your life ahead of you!

It was surprising quite difficult to think of enough points, but digging a little deeper and reflecting is always a good thing.

That's all from me for now. 

Until next time, be inspired...

Love, Z

Letter #38 - Plan For Your Goals

So I've spent the week, having a fresh start and organising the things in my life that needed organising and after seeing just how many other posts there were relating to New Year's resolutions, I thought I'd wait a while and approach it a little differently. 

First of all, I hope everyone had a good holiday and new year. So I know it can be a touchy topic when I say it's a new year and time for a fresh start. The cynics among you will ask, "why now? If you wanted to start fresh, why was September not good enough, or October 23rd? Why does the new year require change?" In short, it doesn't. You can start with a new idea or lifestyle or any other alteration you need to make, whenever you want to, but there is something sweet and rounded about the first day of the year. It gives a solid starting point. It's like when you're procrastinating and you think to yourself that you'll get to your homework at 5pm and then before you notice is 5.24pm, so now you have to wait until 5.30pm or 6pm before you start. Because it just feels right. That's all it comes down to. A feeling.  

If that feeling is that you're going to have a fantastic year, then by all means, go ahead.

So I debated whether or not to talk about resolutions in general or my personal resolutions. I decided on the latter. I have a lot of goals for each year and I very rarely meet them all but I give it my best shot. This year, however, I really do feel that this is it. I'm going to smash this year and feel amazing about it. The reason I know this is because while every other year I set vague resolutions that I had no set plan to accomplishing, other the last year, I've learnt about goal setting and the preparation that goes into any task with a goal.

I mean, you wouldn't just jump in and attempt a 10,000 word essay, without a plan, right? (Okay, that's a bad example... I actually have done that and it turned out great haha). Either way, the majority of tasks require preparation of some sort before we can undertake the commitment.

Say that you wanted to go to the gym more. One, that's a vague goal to begin with. How do you quantify "more"? And two, you can make excuses far too easily. You don't have the right gym top, you need a new sports bra, the gym simply isn't cost effective right now... the list can go on and on and before you know it, it's June and you haven't even taken one step in the right direction.

So as I said, I'll name a few of my goals, simply as a way of holding myself accountable. I've already had my goals written my bullet journal since the 1st of the the month and now I'm using this post as a means of accountability while also drilling it further into my own mind. I always set learning goals, and they are important to me but this is the first year in a while where I'm not in education so I can choose to prioritise the things I want to learn. By the end of 2017, I am hoping to be fluent in Spanish, have a basic grasp of Italian, take a certificated sign language course and to understand the basics of coding. These are not things that I decided on a whim and I took my time, researching each of them because as I said before, preparation is key.

I've always loved languages and I did study Spanish to A-level but let it all get forgotten after that. So when it comes to learning Spanish and Italian, I am going to use Duolingo. 

This is an app that's been around for a couple of year and I've had it downloaded on my phone pretty much as soon as it was a developed application. The great thing about it is that it's free. If you want to try a language and you're not too sure whether it's for you, there's no harm in trailing an app that costs you nothing. It caters for a broad range of languages, and it starts of very simply. It uses repetition and audio and even tests your pronunciation as you get further into the lessons. The app is advertised as needing just 5 minutes a day, and that is absolutely all you need. It also gives it the option to set a notification so that it can remind you once a day and I really do love that feature. 

So this isn't a new app to me and I do know that I love it and the way that it helps you step by step but I also know that sometimes I get lazy once I'm in a routine. So this time, I'm keeping a notebook for all my new vocabulary and the gendered nouns so that I can feel as though I've taken a more active role in my learning. Five minutes a day for a year is just over 30 hours of study. That is minuscule in the grand scheme of things but it's still something that most people could find time for.

The coding is again, something I've loved from afar. I'm always so in awe of all you can accomplish with knowledge and as we travel further into a technologically aware society, I feel like I need to understand the basics for myself. Honestly, I just hate feeling like I've missed out and for me FOMO is never more real than when I feel I don't have a piece of knowledge that I should have. 

For this, I've found so many online learning systems and it is going to take some trial and error before I can feel confident that I've doing it right. I've subscribed to a programme called Skillscrush as just one way of introducing this topic to myself. There's also codecademy and Khan academy that claim to have great teaching resources for my needs. I think this is something that will take much more time and focus and for now, I'm setting that out as one day a week, for as many hours as I can stomach.

Lastly, a learning goal that I have wanted to achieve for so long is to learn British sign language. With a brother who has had to use signing systems as he grew up and a mother who worked in a special school, I've been around the practice of communication through signing for most of my life. But I've always wanted to actually learn the basics and more if I can. I think it could be an invaluable skill and even if it isn't, and I never have to use it, I think it casts an awareness of how other people have to live their lives and that's too important of a lesson to pass up. 

For this goal, I didn't want to be left on my own and to end up doing it wrong. So I've found classes that I can take in my area and I hope to be able to gain some kind of certification for the learning that I will do other that time. Again, this is just something I want to do for myself, to prove that I can and because I think it should be common practice, in the same way that first aid skills now are.

Anyway, those are just a small handful of my goals for this year. What are some your goals and how do you plan to achieve them? (I'm only really asking because I love getting new ideas that I ucan use myself!) 

Until next time, be inspired...

Love, Z

Letter #36 - Sleep is precious

Dear readers, 

When thinking about self care for this week, I got to thinking about one of my favourite pastimes: sleep. Given how busy this time of year is for most people, I wanted to focus on an area that I feel most people skimp on and neglect.

When we're all so focused on getting tasks done and being as productive as possible in our waking hours, we tend to allow our waking hours to go on too long. Now I say "we" but I very rarely do this myself unless I absolutely have to. I love my sleep too much and I think it isn't valued enough when it comes to health and well being. A good night's rest can solve all manner of problems.

One phrase that bugs me to no end is "you can sleep when you're dead". Yes, you absolutely can! But guess what? You'll reach that point a lot sooner if you keep sacrificing your sleep. It's ridiculous and an empty effort at productivity when you're too tired to think straight. At least I think so.

For me, sleeping is my favourite part of the day because it means that my thoughts stop for a time and it gives me a chance to breathe. I say this, but really I'm someone who has many dreams and I know that I'm dreaming but when I wake, I cannot remember what I was dreaming about. It's strange but I like that fact. I only ever remember how I felt while I was asleep. So I can gauge how well I slept but remember how I felt at the time.

Even today, it's a Sunday so I had a lie in and woke up at 11am. For me, that's a big deal since I'm usually up at 6am but I had such a good sleep, I cannot put it into words. I don't think many people think about their sleep, other than a fleeting thought into how well or badly they slept.

Since it's getting to the end of the year, and people try to start fresh and set goals for the year ahead, getting good quality sleep into your lifestyle is my suggestion to you all. 

First, use the holidays to figure out how much sleep you feel that you need. It's wildly different for everyone. Personally, I need around 9-10 hours to feel completely refreshed and functioning. But I know others who can just about manage 5-6 hours before their eyes flick open. They cannot sleep for longer than that without it being that they have overslept and are now too tired. 

Our sleep cycles are an interesting thing. I've found that there is such a fine line between a good amount of sleep and way too much sleep. Even an extra half an hour in bed can mess with your entire day. 

Also, I remember reading somewhere that how tired you feel related to the sleep you got two nights ago. So if you woke up this Sunday morning refreshed, you must have had a good amount of sleep on Friday night. This is why we can sometimes feel so rough on a Monday morning, even if we got to bed early on Sunday night, but we forget how late we were up on Saturday night! So take the holidays as a time to figure it out.

Work out how many hours you need to feel refreshed and awake. And happy. For me, I feel much happier when I've slept well.

Figure out what type of sleeper you are

Are you a light sleeper, stirring at the slightest sound or are you dead to the world the moment your head hits a pillow? If you're a light sleeper, get some thick opaque curtain that won't let light through and sleep in total darkness so that the sunrise or street lamps cannot disturb you. If you're a deep sleeper, maybe invest in a good loud alarm so that you can actually wake on time and not oversleep. Finding what works for you is he most important thing.

Have a bedtime figured out

Once you know how many hours you need, work backwards from the time that you know you need to wake up until you've figured out the best time for you to sleep at. And then go back an extra hour so that you can use that time to get a night time routine sorted. This will ensure that you won't forget when you do to sleep and you can do whatever you need to, to complete your day. So if you need to lay out clothes for the next morning, do it. If you need you make sure you've prepped lunch, do it. And then as soon as you get to the time that you need to be in bed, make sure that you are. 

Absolute darkness is the best

If you want a good sleep, then make sure your bedroom is pitch black because your eyes won't have to adjust to the darkness under your eyelids as much. Because I've found that that time of adjustment can be really disruptive to my sleep when I've maybe been looking at my phone moments beforehand. You know those dancing lights that you can get when you've been blinded by the flash from a camera, and then every time you blink, you can see the light? It's like that and if you know how annoying that light is, you know how disruptive it must be just before you knock out.

If all else fails, take a nap!

If you're still shattered during the day, just take a quick nap if you can fit it in. But beware of how naps make you feel. For me, naps make everything better. Even if I take a nap at 6pm and wake up at 7pm, I can still manage to fall asleep again at 10pm. It's a gift.

But I do know that not everyone shares my love of naps. My mum would always tell me off for napping saying that "you'll never get to sleep tonight!" While that's not the case for me, I know plenty of people who will get stuck wide awake at 2 in the morning because they took a nap in the afternoon. So find out what you need and cater your patterns to those needs.

 Normally, I love writing for this blog but I always feel as though I have no place to actually be offering my opinions. But when it comes to sleep, I'm an absolute pro. I wish sleeping for a living was actually a thing. I'd be brilliant at it.

Let me know if you found any of this helpful and what are your feeling about sleep?

Until next time, be inspired...

Love, Z

Letter #33 - Winter is coming

Dear all,

I'm so excited it's December! The minute the calendar flips, I always feel that little more cosy and safe. I know it's officially astronomically not winter yet, but for me, it is as soon as December arrives.

Winter is absolutely my favourite of all seasons and it's such a festive season at that. The fact that Christmas and New Years tie off the month make it all the more special.

Now I don't celebrate Christmas, but I love the idea. Yes, it may be commercial and more a holiday for marketing teams now but once in the swing of things, it creates such a nice atmosphere. The lights, the food, the indulgence and the chance to celebrate the year are all wrapped up in one. In essence, it's just all so pretty and I am basic enough to indulge in that and be proud of it.

This is the first year since I was about 12 that I've had a truly free holiday season. When you're in school, this was the time for term tests and extra holiday homework or as you get to university, it's the only time you have to study for exams which arrive with the new year. I am going to completely enjoy myself this month as I end the year.

So I thought I'd talk a bit about some of my favourite aspects of winter time is general. I know I'm not alone in my love for this time of year.

The air is beautiful

You know what I'm talking about. On the perfect mid winter's day, the skies will be clear and the air will feel crisp and fresh, and while you shiver, you'll also feel refreshed at the sensation. We've had a few of those days already this year, and as the weather gets even colder, I'm sure we'll have more. It makes a change to rain, and wind and even the humid summer months. I'm not at all a fan of summer, and spring and autumn tend to be too rainy for me. Winter is perfectly at peace.

The lights as they glow

In part because of how early darkness hits us, the lights can be a welcome reprieve as the sun takes its leave (that rhymed haha!). As soon as Halloween has come and gone, the Christmas preparations begin and fill the spaces of darkness with colourful and vibrant displays of light. I look forward to the annual switching on of the lights around town and the displays are beautiful. The absolute best place to witness beautiful displays and lights in my opinion is anywhere in London. There is always such a synchronicity between the store front displays and the street lights everywhere you turn. I think my love of lights and displays is similar to that of most people, but there's something about bright spots of colour dotted around an area that gives it an almost magical quality. It so perfectly complements the early darkness.

Darkness feeds my soul

As I just mentioned, it gets dark very early on in the day, usually around 4pm and alongside this, the sun is also late to rise. That is the part of the day that is my favourite. I'm an early riser most of the time, and by 6am, my eyes will open and I will have to debate whether to get up or to force myself to catch up with whatever dream I was consumed in. In the summer months, there is a busy atmosphere much earlier in the day as the sun usually peeks in through the curtains and people gladly begin their days. However, I hate that busy feeling and I much prefer solitude first time in the morning. I may be an early riser but that does not make me a "morning person". Frankly, I think of morning people as those who jump up with a smile on their face, eager to begin the day with a chat and some socialisation. I, however, much prefer a slow morning. That is the only way I can enjoy a morning properly.

I feel like I'm off on a tangent but basically, I like quiet and alone time when I wake and the winter grants that to me. I can get up at 6am, slowly become alert, and have a leisurely breakfast while other either sleep or get up with a grumble. Either way, they're not in the mood to bother me and I love that.

I also feel more productive like that, as thought I've beaten the sun to the finish line! See, I told you the darkness feeds my soul.

Excuse for sweet treats

There is a smell and a taste to winter and I think that might be my most favourite part of all. It's the season of warming soups, and hearty comfort meals; both of which I highly approve of indulging in. But it's also a time of celebration and as such, sweeties are called for. As someone who loves to bake, Christmas time is my go to for that. I become inspired and caught up in the smell of spices and fruit and it makes me more likely to bake. Cinnamon is the best smell to ever have in a kitchen and it's such a winter flavour that I can go a bit overboard with it.

As it's the season of giving, I can gift a lot of what I bake and that makes it all the more sweet when I do indulge in my treats for myself.

What inspires you in the winter and do you have a favourite month or season?

Until next time, be inspired...

Love, Z