Letter #47 - Being a Work-In-Progress

To anyone who feels incomplete,

I was thinking about being complete, the other day. When we think of our futures, don’t most of us think that at some point we’ll be done, settled and our lives will be complete? There’s this idea that you’re doing to reach a point where you don’t need to do or be more. I know when I was young, I thought that 40 was the end of the road, and that I had to complete everything on my bucket list by then or else life would have been pointless. Saying that now, it just seems silly yet at the same time, a part of me has those worries.

I look at myself at 24, and this is not what I pictured for myself but it’s not a bad life and I’m still working towards the things I pictured. But I am very much a work in progress. I’m not finished with my goals, not by a long shot! I can see myself having to be a work in progress for the rest of my life and I’ve only just now thought of how that’s entirely okay. 

To me, being a work in progress means having new ideas and making changes in your life, because if you stay still for too long, that doesn’t necessarily make you complete, more likely just unfinished. And I don’t ever want to be unfinished.

I think that trying new things, travelling, working, exploring yourself and your life, all lead to self improvement and that’s progress in a positive direction. It’s progress that you can always work on and work towards. As long as I’m trying to achieve something, or better myself, I’m going to keep moving forward toward that feeling of “being complete”. Yet, I will never be complete until I decide that I am.

Life isn’t still - if it was, it’d be really boring - and so doing things and having goals is what makes life interesting. It’s what gives life life. With this idea, being a work in progress, being incomplete in your life’s journey is part of the fun. If we stress less about what hasn’t happened and instead see it as things to look forward to, things that are going to happen at some point, then life would be so much more fun. It would be an adventure.

So that’s the conclusion I’ve come to; I’m fine with being a work in progress until I decide that I’m done and that feeling of contentment and decision will be when I’m complete. That’s totally fine with me. It will be my choice and on my terms, without some imagined finish line that has to match anyone else’s.

I hope that you can join me in seeing life this way, with an excitement for the unfinished nature of life and all the adventures that are yet to come.

Until next time, be inspired...

Z

Letter #13 - Talent should be celebrated.

To anyone and everyone out there,

With A level results day having just passed here in the UK, I spent the days leading up to it in an uncomfortable trance of nervousness. I got my own results back in summer 2012 but the memories of the stress and disheartened feeling remain to this day. I didn't get the grades that I needed for the career that I wanted to pursue but more so than that, I didn't feel good enough. For anything.

I spent the year after that event, in a bit of a daze, writing and spending time with my family; it was an avoidance tactic in which I hid from the big bad world. The world that I wasn't good enough for. And frankly, it sucked. 

By being in that mind set at the time, I ended up associating my writing and my novels with sadness, and eventually they didn't feel good enough to me. I could always work harder, do better, write more and all that pushing for more led to less and less actually being achieved.

When I got to university the year after that, I hadn't really gotten over that feeling but I had to hide it away; it isn't exactly the most entertaining topic to bring up. And in doing so, I almost forgot about it. 

I would hole away in my room, and read... Not material for my classes but fantasy novels, romance novels, anything to take my mind off of work. And then when I had to work, I did so in extreme cramming sessions so that I didn't have the time to entertain thoughts of failing or not being good enough. 

Those would come after the fact. And with each assignment, and each exam, all of which I achieved over 70%, I was angry at myself rather than happy at my grade. I was that bitch that whines about not getting 100% when there are others around me who were struggling to even pass the course. Yes, I was that girl and I'm not proud of it.

But I've found that while I am that harsh on myself, I love it when people around me are doing well. I know as humans, we have the natural tendency to compete and to pit ourselves against one another but I've never really felt that way about others in my life. When my friends do well, when they achieve their goals, I hold nothing but immense pride for them.

It got me thinking about talent. That people are so talented. We, as human beings, are so creative and resourceful and I believe that everyone has a talent, no matter how small they may think it to be. A friend of mine sings and records covers as well as writing his own material to put up on YouTube and I marvel at the creativity and hard work that goes into that. And again, I am nothing but proud. 

My best friend, on the other hand, seems to think that she doesn't do much, but believe me when I say that her talents lie in the fact that she can do everything, literally everything! She's the kind of person that only has to try something new once before she is an all around pro at it. She tried her hand at henna designs recently and they are fantastic for someone who has only tried twice in her life. And on top of that, she is an absolute genius, studying to be a doctor. 

I think it's these little things, the things that people don't necessarily notice in themselves that others are usually in awe of. It's the talents that others overlook in themselves that are important and I love pointing them out to people. 

I think it's the kindest thing to do, celebrate your loved ones and their abilities on such an innate level that it hopefully makes them feel great about themselves. When we feel that good, even over something small, it builds up our confidence and that self-doubt, that niggling voice telling us we aren't good enough, gets locked away for another day more.

Self doubt may make us stronger, and make us work harder, but in the long run, when you are sitting there in the silent moments, it can be an awful thing to be feeling and I feel like anything that shuns that negativity is worth it.

So embrace your talents, whatever they may be and be proud of them too! It's the accumulation of all those little pockets of personality that make us who we are and at the end of the day, we are all good enough!

This post may have started off as a bit of a ramble but I hope that if you're reading this, you can spend a bit of time, maybe just half an hour this evening, acknowledging your talents, be they organisation, or being an epic party planner, or simply having pretty handwriting :p Be proud of it all and go and tell a friend, a family member, anyone, what it is about them that you find absolutely amazing. Not something superficial but a talent that they hold or a skill that they have mastered. 

Basically, just be in awe of those around you and I can guarantee that you will instantly build them up and build yourself up in the process.

Until next time, be inspired...

Love, Z