Being a decent person seems like a given. We all think of it as something that is innate and simple and understandable to everyone. I always thought so. I wish that was the case. But I have observed so many moments, where people who I have witnessed being kind, good people, have surprised me with such specific cruelty that I've had to do a double take.
It's led me to the conclusion that ultimately kindness has to be taught and in turn, rude and disrespectful behaviour is also taught and learned. I don't think I'm saying anything groundbreaking here but I feel like saying it might make any who read this stop and assess themselves. I'm not thinking of a particular person or situation but just decency as a whole.
I remember having a discussion with some friends long ago, and we were complaining about house chores for some reason that escapes me and then someone said they would just hire a maid to deal with whatever mess they made. Another friend then replied that they agreed with the idea of hiring help, but "I'd want them to be a part of the family. I wouldn't want them to do anything that I wouldn't dare do myself. You've got to remember that whoever you may hire will be someone's parent, child, or sibling. I'd want to treat them with the same respect I'd want someone to give to my family." That is the kind of decency I'm talking about. After that one conversation, I did not think I could have more respect for that person and yet it grew.
We all hope and try to be good people. I don't ever want to be in such a cynical place that I believe people are innately bad, first and foremost. However, I think that those moments where you're having a bad day or something has gone wrong and you still hold back from taking it out on another person, those are the moments we should aspire to. Those should be our defining qualities.
I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I try to see things from their point of view. Why are they like that? What made them into that person? I can totally understand that sometimes people are a product of their environments and that a harsh atmosphere can breed a harsher individual.
But the part that grates me is that the actions of such an individual can take a toll on those around them. They can hurt people with their words and actions and I feel like hurt sticks around a whole while longer than anger or frustration or any number of things that caused their harshness.
So if I hope for one thing today, it’s that we hold on to the kindest parts that we can be, because it might just be the thing that makes or breaks someone’s day. I think it’s a worthwhile reminder to have.
Until next time, be inspired...
Z
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