To anyone who has ever questioned it,
In keeping my word about regular self care posts on a Sunday, I was going to write about skin care in the winter, because to me it always feeling like a bit of a pamper session. I've had a lot of people compliment, or rather question, the condition of my skin recently; what magic potion I must be using to keep it so clear. The thing is, I love my skin in the winter as it always seems to thrive before turning into a patchy mess come spring. But the irony of life stepped in just as I woke up intent on taking posts for the blog, with spots scattered across my chin and my cheeks. Now, I doubt that that's a sight anyone needs to see so I've had to talk about something else.
This is something I've noticed for a while and with the start of December, comes vlogmas for some YouTubers and that has made the issue more prominent in my eyes. Like anyone, I have my favourite social media 'influencers' and on watching recent videos or following their Snapchat and Instagram stories, the same words pop up all the time. These are words that always sounded strange but I presume that they come from a place of concern since their jobs are to portray their lives in a certain way.
The words tend to fall along the lines of "sorry I look a mess", "I know I don't look great just yet" or "excuse my face" and they are soon followed by a reason as to why they haven't got makeup on. I hear it time and time again, and I feel sad for them. I can understand that they make a career out of beauty products and how to style their look and their makeup but surely they can be excused their appearance at the moment of waking or working in an empty home or simply living their lives.
The prominence of these words almost seems unfair on them. The Christmas season can be busy for the best of us and especially so for them, given that they have their own schedules to work to and events to attend AND they film it for the entertainment of others. But we shouldn't forget that they are filming a lot of their personal lives, and I think that that takes a certain level of courage and it's fantastic of them to do so. The level of public knowledge of their lives is different to that of celebrities in the traditional sense, since they are willingly letting the public into their lives and that is something you have to admire, whatever your view on them.
But the sheer number of women who apologised to the camera for being flustered, or busy or especially, when they didn't have makeup on, and looked "a mess" was one too many. It sparked a thought and so that's why I'm writing this.
Firstly, it isn't right for anyone to have to apologise for being a human being with a face that comes naturally unpainted. I needed to address that because it needs addressing and I'm sure it is something that people need to read about and have a think on. I find it interesting, for lack of a better word, that we are in an age and time where we have such education and understanding and yet we can still hold others to a certain standard when it is none of our concern.
Those women may have apologised but when I read the comments sections, I understood why they felt the need to. So many comments pointed out their flaws or how different or tired they looked, and if this is constantly the feedback that they are exposed to, of course they will feel as though they have to be sorry for it. What I found most interesting was that most comments weren't by internet trolls, they were by fans or followers who had always been there. I don't think that their intentions are harsh, but it's what we have now become so accustomed to, that we feel the need to comment when it is no longer there.
Of course I'm talking about makeup here, but really any sort of imagined standard of appearance that is put on others is not okay. Something that started off as a bit of fun for most women has either become an obsession or a chore. I'm sure I sound so utterly against the idea of makeup but I love the stuff and I'm so fascinated and in awe of those who can apply it well and look so stunning with it. My only issue is that I generally think people look just as stunning without it.
I'm just grateful that I don't feel a hold over my confidence from it. I'm grateful that as a young child, my mother never told me that I wasn't allowed to use it or that I was too young for it or anything along those lines. My dad once got me a huge makeup case when I was about 9 years old (he clearly didn't see anything wrong with it!) and it was one of those ones for young girls, with fluorescent pink blush and glitter lip glosses and the rest. I loved it and played dress up for about two weeks solid and then I got bored. I moved onto other interests after that. I never really thought about it until now, but I think the fact that I didn't have input from anyone else about if and when and how I should use it, meant that I formed my own opinion early on. I only ever saw it as a plaything. From then it couldn't define me because it held no interest for me.
And now, at 22 years old, I do not wear makeup on a day to day basis and I love my complexion and all aspects of my face, because whenever I look in the mirror, I always see the same thing. I think that that is an important point in itself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing makeup on an almost religious basis, as long as you don't forget that that reflection isn't the real deal.
I'm not saying that it's always been easy to love my skin. I certainly have days where I question whether I should resort to making it look more even or brighter or fresher or any number of things that can be done. It doesn't help that society is still wired a certain way.
When I lived with friends at uni, and when I would make new friends, they were always so curious as to why I didn't wear makeup. My idea of getting ready to go out with them meant taking a shower and putting on nicer clothes, whereas for them, it meant an hour in front of a mirror perfecting their faces. I also got roped into it exactly two times in those three years; times where I was begged to let them apply makeup on me and I relented as a bit of fun. But what I found was that it wasn't me. Nothing looked like me anymore. I'll add a photo somewhere here, but take my word for it, that's not what I look like even on my best day. And I don't need to.
My biggest problem was with the foundation. It covers all manner of sins but in the end, when you wipe it away, the imperfections are still there and I found myself disliking them. That day as I washed my face, I noticed the small freckles and the noticeable pores and it bothered me. The thing is I didn't like that it bothered me so the next time I got a request for being made up, I declined with a smile and reminded myself that I'm amazing as is.
In recent years, I think that there has been a move towards embracing ourselves in all aspects, with celebrities and others going out of their way to point out their no makeup selfies, but I think when something has been so ingrained for so long, it can be tough to wholeheartedly embrace it.
What I've noticed is that while it begins as fun, something to add a touch of colour, for the majority it eventually becomes a crutch. I've seen friends and relations alike terrified at the prospect of going about their daily lives without a full face of makeup. They refuse to be seen without it. They feel anxious at the thought and they feel as though it makes them unkempt.
I can understand the latter; I've had my fair share of remarks from well meaning individuals that seem to question how much I value myself. "You really don't like making an effort, do you?" or "surely you could have at least added some *insert product of choice*."
These statements and remarks shouldn't happen but it has become the case that if a women isn't made up, then on some level, she doesn't value herself enough or that she is lazy. I won't lie, I do get much more extra sleep compared to some of my friends but I spend my time taking care of my skin and my nutrition so that I have a good enough base that I can be content with.
This post has run far too long and if you've made it to the end, I commend you! I don't want this post to come across at all like I'm criticising those that wear makeup or promote it. I simply hope that people can be happy enough in their own skin that it becomes fun for them again. So it can be an addition to your face instead of a replacement.
Let me know what you think in the comments!
Until next time, be inspired...
Love, Z
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