I've been patiently suffering from a creative slump. It seems that inspiration does not want to lend me a hand and is being far too stingy with her creative juices! But speaking with a friend yesterday brought up an interesting question for me. It was a discussion of wanting as opposed to needing, in terms of people and relationships. Which is better? Which would you prefer?
In my mind, one is an act that you can control and that you have a choice in and the other is more of a helpless action, something that overcomes you past a point of control. But is that really better in any way? Surely the act of making a choice makes the choice much more satisfying. Whereas the argument can also follow the other way; that by not having a choice, clearly whatever it is that you need is more important than rational thought and sound reasoning.
I've always said and will continue to say that I don't need people. It wasn't even a line that I would intentionally say but the hard-ass inside of me would never admit to the weakness that I perceived of needing someone or something. Like I said, it felt like a decision made without control. And I choose never to lose control. While I don't think of it as weakness any more, the reservation will always be there.
Instead, I will rationally decide to spend time with friends as and when I want to. And if I don't want to, it will not pain me at all to do exactly that and not involve myself. Writing this post makes me sound so emotionless but if anything, the act of choosing is fuelled by emotion. You choose to make time for those people and things that you want in your life.
Through all of this nonsensical rambling, I haven't really come to any sort of conclusion regarding this, but I feel like the best kind of action, and relationships, have an equal share of both. You want to spend time with those people irrespective of, but also acknowledging, the fact that you do need them in your life just as much. Essentially, your life would be a little less of the life that you know without them in it.
Sorry if this all sounds like the ramblings of a mad woman, but I just needed to get it out of my head. Let me know what your thoughts are on the topic.
Until next time, be inspired...
Love,
Z
