Dear readers (and family and friends),
When I get stressed, I'm not the most pleasant person to be around. Actually that's a horrific understatement. Normally I try to actively contemplate my actions and whether I'm being a good person in my day to day life, but when I'm stressed, that is all out of the window. so I want to apologise for that.
I neglect my friends and I impose myself and my bad mood even more on my family. From the stress, I internalise a lot and get stress-related anxiety, which then makes me more stressed, and more anxious and so the cycle continues in this awful catch-22 situation. For this, I am sorry and to my family and friends, I hope I'm not too much of a pain to be around. I love you really :p
The reason I am writing about this is because I have been feeling majorly stressed lately. In the traditional sense of work getting to be too much, but also on a more existential level where I feel like every action I take will affect my life ten years down the line and so I want to make the right choices for myself but also by taking into account the people in my life.
Don't get me wrong, I do love being at university and the things that I'm learning make me feel as though I can do something to make a difference in the world. But sometimes it can all feel like too much. I think it is important to acknowledge that when it does happen so that you can then adjust how you are feeling and the perspective you want to take.
How about you guys? Does anyone have a good way of dealing with stress? Let me know!
Until next time, be inspired...
Love,
Z
Dear Readers,
This post has been in the works for over a week now and I suppose that just makes it more aptly on topic. I've had the start of the university semester and with it, the start of autumn. For me at least, with that came this sense of stress and feeling overwhelmed, simply because that is what my mind has been trained to feel. After over eighteen years of education, it is like I've conditioned myself to both love and dread autumn and with it, the start of the school year for most.
Throughout August, I was so looking forward to the colder months and the cosy, homely feeling that comes with it, only to feel bogged down right now. Lectures only started this week. The levels of anxiety that I feel due to that are all over the place and will continue to be for at least two more weeks.
I'm trying to take every day as it comes. But that is much easier said than done, when your mind refuses to turn itself off. I feel like I have so many questions to ask myself: where I see myself, where I'm heading and what I should be doing with my life.
And I know, that if you're reading this, you must think that I shouldn't be in such a hurry to sort everything out. I'm only twenty, after all. But - there seem to be a lot of buts in this post - if I don't find the answers soon, I think that I'll end up settling for a career and settling into a life that I'm not as passionate about as I should be.
I have the privilege of education and a good family and friends who I am incredibly grateful for so I have enough that I know I shouldn't worry. So if it wasn't evident already, I have been a little on the confused side this week but logically I know that things will sort themselves out, regardless of how much I stress.
I think that's enough contemplating for today.
Does anyone else ever get that feeling? As though you'll lose your footing at any moment? Of feeling too overwhelmed at times? Let me know how you deal with it.
Until next time, be inspired...
Love,
Z
