Letter #12 - Moving past it

Dear readers,

This post is really for those who've ever felt listless in a way in which they can't really explain. Like nothing makes sense, like nothing can be achieved by them. They feel stuck and lost. 

Over the past few months, I've been battling with that feeling a lot and each time I have tried to erase it. To stop feeling it all together. But I don't think that that has been the correct way of dealing with it. That's why I felt compelled to write about it.

Listlessness is a feeling I've always struggled to define. I've never really explained it to people, feeling that they wouldn't understand the vagueness of the feeling. Since I'm typing this on my iPhone at this moment, I used Apple dictionary to help me with this task. Listless - "(of a person or their manner) lacking energy or enthusiasm".

That may be the definition in relation to the adjective but I think inside a person it becomes more than that. For me, it's almost trapping, suffocating the enthusiasm and passion that I hold in a way in which I'm aware that it's happening but I can't snap out of it. Usually in my case, I find this feeling manifesting itself when I've been extremely driven by an idea or inspired to do or create something. It's usually something new that I want to try and then all of a sudden, I'm stuck. In a word - frustrating!

I can't muster the excitement that I held moments before to actually carry out whatever idea I had. I have a notebook full of potential projects as well as a dissertation to plan for and yet I can't do anything right now. I know it sounds more like I'm creatively blocked but to anyone who has felt that listlessness, you'll understand that it's more than that. You're almost trapped in your own head.

In having this feeling on and off for as long as I can remember, I've realised that forcing it to go away is wasted energy. I feel like this today but hopefully by not focusing on it so much, I might just feel more energetic about everything tomorrow. 

I'm a firm believer in "everyday is a new day to try again" and in this case, I am letting the frustration go. I'm going to try to control less. I'm going to let things be. I'm going to try in whatever way I can.

I think that's all I really have to say about it. That it's an emotion just like any other, sadness, happiness, anger; you have to accept it and let it run its course so that you're free to feel something different.

I think emotions are too important to ignore. There's always a reason for them.  And when it comes to that demotivating feeling that I get, all it does is make me appreciate the days that I don't feel like that even more. And that is never going to be a bad thing in my books!

That's all from me for today. Let me know how you guys deal with frustrating emotions.

Until next time, be inspired...

Love, Z